When your children are with your ex, it may not be easy to know how you feel or what you want to do with your time. Whether you’re new to navigating co-parenting arrangements or have been doing it for a while, the time when your kids are away can inspire a mix of feelings—loneliness, anxiety and even relief. This time also presents an opportunity to focus on your own well-being and personal growth.
Taking care of yourself when you can is important, perhaps especially during the periods when your children are not with you. Use this time to focus on activities that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Whether you benefit from getting regular exercise, reading a good book, pursuing a hobby or simply resting, self-care can help you maintain your emotional and physical health and build your resiliency.
What do you need – and want – to do?
If taking time for yourself inspires feelings of guilt, keep in mind that it enables you to be the best parent you can be whenever your children return. The time your kids spend with your ex can be an excellent opportunity to focus on whatever it is that you want to do, in addition to anything that you may need to do when you have a free moment.
For example, when your children are with your ex, it’s a great time to organize your home, plan for upcoming events or catch up on tasks that might be more challenging when the kids are around. You can prepare meals in advance, declutter or make plans for future activities with your children. This proactive approach can reduce stress and make your time with your kids more enjoyable and focused on creating memories together.
On the flip side, being without your kids provides an opportunity to strengthen your social connections. Consider spending time with friends, family or joining a community group. Just because your kids aren’t around doesn’t mean that you have to be alone if you don’t want to be.
Managing your time effectively when your kids are with your ex can help you to better cultivate your well-being and personal growth overall. If you work to view this time as an opportunity instead of a burden, you might start truly believing that it is, indeed, just that.