It is relatively common for parents to disagree about the best way to share custody. In some cases, children may also take issue with the idea that their parents should split time with them. Although children generally desire a close bond with both of their parents, some children have a deeper connection with one parent rather than the other. They might prefer to spend most or all of their time with that parent instead of moving back and forth between homes.
Can children who may soon be subject to a custody order decide where they live or who has the majority of parenting time?
A child’s preferences can be important
No one individual in the family has the authority to make all of the major decisions about custody matters. Parents have to work together or rely on a judge to settle disagreements about their parenting disputes. Children largely have to defer to whatever terms their parents or the courts set. They do not have legal autonomy until they become adults.
However, judges hearing contested custody cases may consider the wishes of a child. They consider the child’s maturity level, age and reasoning for their stated wishes when deciding what may be in their best interests.
Parents may also consider the voluntarily stated preferences of their older children as they attempt to negotiate a parenting schedule. It is usually necessary for both parents to encourage their children to uphold the custody order as written, even if they have a strained relationship with one parent.
Learning more about the factors that influence custody matters can be beneficial for parents who must work out arrangements to share their parental rights and responsibilities. Children often have preferences about their living arrangements, but those preferences do not dictate the outcome of custody proceedings.