You and your spouse recently called it quits, but this is your first year navigating the holidays as wary co-parents. Or maybe both of you are trying to make it through one last season together, white-knuckling it as you go.
In either case, the holidays tend to be flashpoints for divorced families. Below are some coping strategies you might employ to make your winter holidays easier.
Compromise is key to a peaceful exit
If you and your partner are living apart, you may already be operating within the parameters of an interim custody order — preferably one that addresses the holiday schedule. If yours does not, now is a good time to bring that up with your legal team.
It can be hard to accept that you might not have your child with you for Thanksgiving dinner. But maybe you can negotiate with your soon-to-be ex so that you and the kids wake up under the same roof on Christmas morning.
Understand that some things are out of your control
Another obstacle to avoid is trying to micromanage your child when they are with their other parent. Yes, they may stay up an hour later and eat pizza and no vegetables sometimes, but that won’t hurt them in the long run. Learn to pick your battles and accept what you can’t control as long as the kids are safe.
Celebrate old and make new traditions
If you have a holiday movie night tradition, make sure to honor it this year. But also be willing to incorporate new traditions. If you’ve downsized to an apartment that can’t fit your big artificial tree, delight the kids by shopping for a smaller real one. Remember that you’re building new memories together.
For those on the fence, the new year is coming, and you can prepare now to file for divorce in 2026 by gathering your financial and other information now, while it’s accessible.